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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist Member Ashley MariahFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Ashley Mariah
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
United States
Both writer and artist...a little divided between two worlds.
I get this way sometimes, tetchy and weird and feeling like everything's about to change.

Well, something.

Don't feel like sleeping or eating and can't make myself focus on anything creative. Actually, no. It's not that I can't focus, it's that I'm afraid of what I'll make if I do. I can hyperfocus when I'm like this...I mean really, really hyperfocus. Problem is, I can't just sit down and tune out the world for a couple of days. I've got a life. House to keep up, lunches to make, meals to fix, people I'm responsible for.

Can't just drop off the face of the earth anymore.

Sometimes I do it anyway, hyperfocus on some project for a week or so, and then I feel guilty about pushing everyone away. Did it last year around this time. Gods, but it's hard to believe a year's gone by...and on the other hand, it feels like it's been forever since the NW concert. 2016 feels like a long way off, but then I think about my project and suddenly it doesn't feel like nearly long enough.

Mostly right now I'm feeling stuck. Trapped, like I want to go out and do something crazy and I know I can't. I'm happy with my life but at the same time, I feel like I'm just biding time until something happens. a nightingale in a golden cage/ that's me locked inside reality's maze...or in my case, a mockingbird. But sometimes I have so many snippets of songs and stories and feelings running rampant that even this mockingbird can't sort it into a tune that makes sense.

Or I could, but don't dare. Cause I'd have to block out everything else to do it.

I may pull out the Tarot cards tonight, just to see if I can't suss anything out of this mood. Not something I do too often...mostly because I don't have many friends who are comfortable with that sort of thing. I'm of the opinion that the cards can't tell you anything you don't already know, somewhere in your mind...can't read the future, sorry. But they CAN reveal things you don't realize you know, can untangle your own feelings.

Still can't shake the feeling that something's coming, but I'm only right about stuff like that less than half the time. Usually it's just me feeling overwhelmed.

Guess we'll see.
  • Mood: Angsty
  • Listening to: Wonderfields~ Imaginaerum

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azraelengel Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the favorite.
falkyno Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Professional Digital Artist
Hey Thanks a ton for favoriting my picture, if you don't mind check out my  website and spread the word I'd really appreciate it. thanks again for taking the time.
Asyllis Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Your art is really, really amazing ! :iconpyongiluplz: 
AmaranthMB Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you 😊
Asyllis Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
You're welcome ! :D
oscART05 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Student Artisan Crafter
CelticStrm-Stock Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hiyas! I mentioned you in %The-Stock-Directory's blog here: :D
ulltraz Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
happy birthday!!!Airborne 
AmaranthMB Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you! :)
ulltraz Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
you are welcome!!!Love 
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